Sermon: Dealing with Conflict

We cannot get through life without facing conflict.   Some people hate conflict and will do all they can to avoid it, and can sometimes find themselves unable to deal with it,  while others seem to thrive on conflict as though it gives them some kind of impetus to deal with their lives and they may not always want conflict to cease.

 Whether we hate conflict or whether we like conflict, we cannot avoid it.   Conflict exists everywhere,  in domestic situations,  in communities, in the Church, in the country, and on the global arena.  The real question is not to choose whether there is conflict or not but how to deal with it when we meet it.   This is an important question, because the way we deal with conflict affects the kind of society are, in our homes, our community, our church, our nation and the world.  Dealing with conflict in a good way can bring healing, harmony, peace and a society at ease with itself.  Dealing with conflict in a bad way can cause hostility to grow in local situations and bring about war in global situations.

In his letter to the Romans, Saint Paul tells his readers how Christians should take a lead in finding the right ways to deal with conflict.  He writes to the Christians in Rome, the capital city of the empire, a place where conflict is always evident.  There is social conflict and political conflict and always a danger of growing hostility and war.   In his letter to the Romans, Paul first gives a lot of teaching,  - indeed it is his summary of  the Christian Gospel. Some commentators have called Romans, “The Gospel according to Saint Paul”   Romans seems to be full of theology, and many would say lacking in practical advice like Paul’s other letters.  When we get to chapter twelve, however, we begin to read the practical advice. In previous chapters  Paul has in some detail, gone through the theology of the Gospel, now in chapter twelve he talks about applying it in daily life.  He is speaking of how the Christian faith is not just getting the theology right, but it is about living lives in harmony with God and with all we come into contact with. 

Paul speaks earlier in this letter about God’s love in his words “God has shown us how much he loves us . It was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us.”

So the Christian community is meant to founded on the love of Christ and the love of Christians for each other.  So Paul begins these words of practical advice on how to deal with conflict by saying, “Let love be genuine.”   His opening sentences speak of  that love showing itself in patience in suffering, in prayer, in generosity, and in hospitality, not just to our friends but to everyone. 

Next he offers some advice on dealing with conflict.  This seems hard to accept,  “Bless those who persecute you?  All too often, our natural instinct can be to seek revenge for those who persecute us, but Paul reminds his readers that revenge is not the Christian way.  Also important in this passage is the Christian way of understanding how others feel “rejoice with those who rejoice.  Weep with those who weep.” 

Now he speaks more directly about how to deal with conflict.  Having reminded us not to think we are wiser than we are,  which is a way of teaching us to be humble before God, who has all wisdom,  Paul speaks again  about revenge.  He tells us that for the Christian, seeking revenge for an ill done to us is not the way to resolve conflict, in fact it makes the situation worse.  Paul tells his hearers the for the Christian the best way is to try to live peaceably with everyone,  whoever they are.   He then gives another reason that Christians should not take revenge.   Revenge is up to God.  He is the judge.  So what Paul is saying is that  if we take revenge we are putting ourselves in the place of God.

He even tells his hearers to do kind things to their enemies. Just think of how that  would transform the lives of all unto a peaceful society of harmony.   His final words in this passage are to tell us that the only way to overcome evil is with good.

We all do well to heed these wise words.  Wherever conflict exists from a domestic situation to a global one,   taking revenge, paying back,  “tit for tat”  doesn’t work.  It simply makes the situation worse.  At the end of the day,  the only way that works to resolve conflict is through love, after the example of Jesus.  Each one of us can try to do this.  At times we look with despair on the conflicts everywhere from the local to the global.  We can still have hope that these conflicts can be resolved through God’s love.  Resolving conflict is indeed needed on the global scene but it begins where we are, so let us say and mean the prayer expressed in a popular Christian song

“Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”